Emotional Intelligence Book Review
“Anyone can be angry – that is easy.
But to be angry with the right person,
to the right degree, at the right time,
for the right purpose,
and in the right way –
this is not easy.”
Aristotle
The above quote from ‘The Nichmachean Ethics’ by Aristotle is how the book Emotional Intelligence introduces to you its concepts for self improvement.
Until fairly recently a person’s IQ (Intelligence Quotient) has always been associated with the amount of success they have in life – the more intelligent you are the better you do in life. However, this very limited view is now being challenged as more and more members of the scientific and social science fields investigate people’s EQ (Emotional Intelligence).
The book’s author, Daniel Goleman, draws on ground-breaking research into the human brain and emotional behaviourism. He shows what is at work when people of exceptionally high IQ fail while those of modest IQ succeed in life.
It seems that the factors involved in a high EQ are the very qualities that are present in those people who succeed and carve out a place for themselves in their world while creating lasting, secure and loving relationships in the process. Self-motivation, empathy for others and social delicacies are the mark of the person with a high EQ. These qualities then give rise to self-discipline, altruism and compassion.
According to Goleman, the cost of having deficits in your EQ can create all manner of problems in life that range from poor relationships (with spouse, friends, co-workers and offspring) to financial & career problems. By outlining the workings of the physical brain and how it connects to our emotions and rationality he does, however, give us much promise for securing a higher EQ rating.
Goleman even goes as far as giving guidance to parents who wish to help nurture their children by strengthen the child’s EQ to give them an advantage in life over ‘normal’ people.
In order to first strengthen your emotional intelligence he shows the reader how to identify his/her emotional state and understand the causes of such feelings. He then shows you how to manage your emotions and then harness them into productive activities.
By helping the reader develop their empathetic abilities, Goleman, gives and excellent method for becoming more sensitive to those around you. By understanding ‘where a person is coming from’ and having the ability to read their emotional responses we can connect on a deeper level with the other person. More than this though, you can also relate to them on their level and make it easier to put your point of view across.
In order to be successful in life you must know how to handle relationships and the book outlines this in no playful manner. Goleman clearly shows the harvest you will reap from sowing into a poor EQ.
Conclusion
Emotional Intelligence, although first penned in 1995, is only just starting to become ingrained in scientific thinking, nearly a decade later. For anyone who is serious about increasing their ‘lot’ in life and who also wishes to strengthen all their relationships this is a must read.
Not only does Goleman weave a thoroughly entertaining web of scientific evidence and psychological research into a fascinating review of the way we think but he also incorporates an easy to apply system for self change.
This book will change the way you view success and help you improve not only yourself but the others around. It will give you the skills to truly become a compassionate and empathetic being. A throughly enjoyable read and the very valuable information contained within make this book a fascinating and powerful tool for personal growth and self development.
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